This afternoon as I was thinking about writing a post, and most definitely struggling with content.  As I reread some of my old posts,  I was stunned to realize that I had actually written them.  The content was familiar, and I could feel the words, but I couldn’t believe I wrote them.

On one post, I wrote about our trip to the Island of Kauai, and on another the day we picked up my son, Dennis from the airport after he made his first CD.

So whats your point?

I sitting here wondering if my writing is getting better, or worse?  Just like the paintings I create.  If you go back and revisit old works of art, often it is unbelievable  to think you had created them in the first place.  They aren’t all great, some of them I can actually believe it was me who painted them.  That’s painful to admit!

 Who did those, it couldn’t have been me!

But in fact it was me, in both cases.  When I write I pour my heart out just like when I paint!  It may be good at the time, or a struggle at that time, it depends.    Sometimes we don’t even realize how much of an effort it is until it unfolds.

Art is different for me because when I struggle,  I always know it!  It’s great when it flows, but that doesn’t always happen.  Sometimes I struggle painfully with something, a concept, a start, or maybe even more than that!

The Abstract Dancer has already taken two or three sharp left turns.  I have ideas, and who knows if they will work, but it’s better to try something than nothing!  Right? By posting this online, maybe it will shake me loose, and drive me to work on it!  I’m trying to avoid doing the Jackson Pollock thing to it.

At least that is my hope.  So someday when I look back on prior posts, I can look at this one and remember how I was struggling to pull it all together, and make Abstract Dancer a real painting!  Someday maybe I can read this post, and say to myself,  I did pull it together, and that Abstract Dancer is exactly what I had envisioned!