Being too tall, too fat, too ugly…what?

We all have worst fears, but do they change over the years…That is the question?  Being young, we are afraid to be left alone, our world is small, and everything frightens us!  Get a little older, and our world opens up a bit, leaving us with less fear, and a bigger world for us to explore.  But, if your mother or father is out of sight – well, it’s terrifying, and we become lost, and frightened once again!

Once we leave the diapers behind,  we become down right monsters!!!  We were probably monsters before that, but now we are a force to be reckoned with!  We peck our parents to death, and if they live through raising children, and are still friends by the time it’s over...it’s a miracle!  

Some kids fear everything, some are fearless.  Does that come from the way they are raised, or is it in our genes?  I was raised in a family where my mother was always instilling fear into us.  Fear of God, fear of parents, especially my father, fear of what the neighbors would think, and on and on.  At first when I was younger I’m sure I bought into it, but as I got a little older, I didn’t see the benefit in being afraid of everything.

In the world of today, the media instills a great deal of fear, after all we live in a fear based society!  Society teaches us to be afraid of earthquakes, hurricanes,  tsunamis, people of another color, or religion, people with guns, people without guns.   How sad it that!  Is it really necessary to have all this negative energy in our lives?  I say NO!  If we didn’t have this constant hammering of the need to be afraid of everything, could  we live a peaceful life?

At my age I’ve finally accepted –  that  I’m not going to get any younger, and instead of growing old gracefully….I’m going to claw and scratch all the way to the finish line….with a glass of wine in one hand and a paint brush in the other!  I might add that I’d be covered in paint because that’s just how I roll!

Does that surprise you?

It shouldn’t, and until you are sitting where I am, or in the shoes that have been worn, and traveled, don’t think you won’t claw and scratch all the way to the end also!  Will it help to eat healthy, cutting out bad foods, and working hard to eat only foods without chemicals, who knows?   The one thing I do know is there isn’t any point in worrying about the inevitable!  I just need to make sure I’m staying active, positive, and eat lots of foods that help my nails  stay strong so I can continue clawing, and scratching!

What am I afraid of, what are my deepest darkest fears…

Maybe it concerns me that many of us are frittering away our planet instead of caring for it with gentle, loving  hands, and much effort and concern.  Maybe it concerns me that my children, my grandchildren, and the children after that will inherit a planet that has been abused in so many unnecessary ways.  I believe we have poisoned our environment with chemicals, and emissions, both from our vehicles, and from livestock, and industry.   People have disrespected their environment by throwing trash all over the place, and our oceans are being polluted with plastic bags, and bottles until our fish, the reefs, and the water is extremely compromised.   I don’t think that it was intentional in the beginning, but I do think that it is very well-known now, and there shouldn’t be any question about discontinuing this massacre of anything, and everything living!  Where is the self-respect of the people continuing this behavior?

What am I afraid of…that’s what I’m afraid of!